I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure how ‘the best and worst’ series would be received when I started it last week. Would anyone be arsed? Well they were, big time, so I continue… This is where I’ll be dishing the dirt on the best things and the worst things I’ve ever spent money on. This time I’m talking fake tan.
If you’re going to part with your hard earned cash, you want to make sure it’s actually worth that proportion of your wages that could have otherwise been spent on a new pair of shoes. There’s nothing worst than spending £20 on something that turns out to be as useful (and as heartbreaking) as a good looking lad with a shit accent.
Fake tan is a minefield – is it gonna leave me streakier than snapchat with a new bae? Am I going to be as orange as Paul Hollywood? Am I going to stink worse than the dog food factory in Fazakerley? These are all valid questions, and one’s I’m going to answer…
The best and worst fake tan I’ve ever bought
The first time I used this fake tan I was terrified. I’d initially been sent it as a free sample (#bloggerperks) and Lord knows why, but I decided to road test it the night before ladies day AKA The Scouse Oscars. The product I used initially was actually a gel (I’d only ever used a spray or a mousse before) and it went on extremely blotchy and patchy; it looked like I had some sort of terrible skin complaint. It was very nerve-wracking. I woke up the next morning and raced to the shower to wash it off only for it to reveal the most even, natural looking tan ever to grace my skin. It was magical. It was like a ladies day fairy tale come true. I knew then that Skinny Tan had me for life. I’ve since graduated to the Express Mousse in Dark (obv), I love the fact that you can leave doing your tan until the last few hours before a night out and still come out looking amazing. I can never be assed doing my tan and love to procrastinate until the last possible minute so the express is perfect for me. Skinny Tan is available direct from them or exclusively at Superdrug. PS It doesn’t stink either.
Why’s it so boss?
I don’t know if it makes you skinny or not so ignore that (although, who doesn’t look slimmer with a tan?) – it is however streak free, ORANGE tone free and practically smell free.
I should have known better with this one. I was at the British Style Collective in the beauty hall when a larger than life Irish woman insisted on giving me a demo of BPerfect ’10 second tan’. To be fair, as she applied it to my skin I could see it developing within 10 seconds, that much is very true. She then went on to say that it stops developing to its full potential after an hour so you could wash it straight off. HEAVEN. Right? Wrong, I bought some and I tried it and I’m sorry, does it shite do anything after an hour. If anything I felt whiter than before. The demo lady also had the orangest hands I’ve ever seen and I ignored that red (or orange) flag didn’t I? I tried again and applied BPerfect 10 second tan overnight instead and Jesus Henry Christ, I was like an oompah lumpah. I was like a parody Scouser from Jeremy Kyle. It was tragic. Never again. Bin for you babe.
Why’s it so bad?
Doesn’t do what’s promised, has a tendency to go patchy and streaky and has the worst colour of a tan I’ve ever tried – bear in mind that once upon a time someone gave me a spray tan with St Moriz dark and went over me liberally TWICE with the spray gun. It’s also expensive compared to some better quality tans. Just don’t.
So that’s it – my best and worst. If there’s anything you’d like to see me cover next, let me know in the comments below or on social 😘 and when it comes to beauty, don’t ignore the warning signs.