A love letter to our very own boys… the Scouse lad.
1. He owns more shoes than you do
You know you’re dating a scouse lad when his shoe collection is truly impressive. He owns at least 25 pair of shoes (24 of which are immaculate trainees) and you’ve never seen someone flip like a scouse lad when you accidentally step on his pristine webs. They also keep every box from their new shoes stacked up in a corner in their bedroom or in their wardrobe. Do we know what that’s even about?
2. He has a heart of gold
Even though he acts like “one of the lads” he’s actually a little mush behind closed doors. He’s dead thoughtful and wouldn’t dream of treating you badly because he’s been brought up properly by a Scouse queen. You literally don’t know what you’d do without him when you’re hungover because, even though it might take some convincing and deal making, he’ll still always cave and go the shop for you… or if you’re dead lucky even the maccies.
3. His car is cleaner than the local hospital
Speaking of maccies, IF he lets you eat inside his pride and joy (which is rare), don’t even THINK about leaving your cheeseburger wrapper behind. Or even a hairclip. He goes the carwash at least once a week because he couldn’t bear the thought of driving around with even a speck of dust on his gorgeous car.
4. Appearance means everything
Even though you secretly love it better when he’s lounging around in his grey trackies (which EVERY scouse lad owns, by the way) he’s always looking completely fresh in a polo or a crisp shirt with a pair of jeans. You’ll never catch him going out looking like a meff. He prides himself on the way he looks (a little bit more than you… sometimes)
5. He’s got the absolute best sense of humour
Making you laugh is probably what made you fancy him in the first place. You will never have a dull moment because he’s always joking around even in the “I’m not supposed to laugh” places. You’re constantly arguing about who’s “the funny one” in the relationship.
6. He’s always, ALWAYS up for a drink
Remember that first date when you were only supposed to go for food and ONE cocktail, but ended up dancing til 4am instead? Yeah, standard. If you’ve had a bad day and need to drown your sorrows, even though you’re both up for work at 9am tomorrow, he’ll 100% still go for a drink with you.
7. He secretly cares about tanning more than you do
He’s constantly got a gorgeous glow. He swears down he doesn’t go on the beds but there’s no way he can be a bronzed God without them. When you’re on holiday together he always ends up 7 shades darker than you and it makes you envy him more than anything.
8. He’s the most generous lad you’ve met.
Don’t you dare even think about trying to pay for anything on a date, because it’ll just end up with him getting massively insulted. He pays for EVERYTHING (even though you try and pay) and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’ll make you realise how much the little things matter the most when he comes home with your favourite chocolate bar and a diet coke without asking.
9. He’s absolutely football mad
It’s not a question of what sport he’s into, but what team he supports. You might never have dated a scouser before, but it’s like when they’re born they sign a contract you absolutely MUST be a red or a blue. And you can guarantee every time there’s a match on he’ll be in the pub, pint in hand with his mates. And no, he definitely won’t be into rugby because he’s not a wool.
10. Betting is basically his second income
Speaking of footy, he always thinks he’s gonna become a millionaire from his saturday footy accy (accumulator) and has in his head a list of 83 pairs of brand new trainees he’s gonna buy with the money. Ha, good one lad. I’ve already planned on what you’re buying me with your winnings. Yep it’s William Hill football betting today babe.
11. He’s got the sexiest accent
Scousers are deemed as the country’s bad boys, but their accent makes you melt every time they speak. If anyone else called you “darling” it would make you cringe down to your pancreas but there’s just something sexy about anything said in a scouse accent. Oh and he calls you “love” at least 76 times a day.
12. He’ll be like one of the girls
He flips when you put Love Island or Towie on the telly because he claims to hate them but now and again he’ll lift his head up from his phone and know exactly what’s going on. He’ll make snide comments like “oh my god why’s Amber being a bad crank to Kem again” and tell you where to go when you reply “thought you didn’t like this, babe?”. He’s your best mate and you can tell him anything and know it won’t get back to anyone (but half the time it’s because he’s not interested).
13. He knows exactly how to handle you
If you’ve dated a fair share of wools in the past, you know you get bored after a couple of weeks because they just don’t know how to handle you and your feisty nature like a scouse lad does. He puts you in your place exactly when you need to be and he’s sexy when he does it. He gives as good as he gets and you wouldn’t have him any other way because it keeps the relationship exciting.
Scouse lads, we love you and you always do it better.