Photo credit: Corrado Prever
You may, in the build up to Christmas (I said it, it’s on its way) – have found yourself saving the pennies and may be blagging to your mates you’re doing Sober October this year and won’t be going out. Or, you might be doing it for real (go you!). Or, you may have realised that prancing around town absolutely leathered in fancy dress for Halloween just doesn’t hold the same appeal as it once did.
So, if you’ve found yourself in any of these predicaments and are looking for something alternative to do this Halloween, here are some alternative ideas to panic queuing outside Smiffy’s last minute looking for the perfect super original, funny but still a little bit sexy outfit.
- Visit a Pumpkin Patch – I know, how Americanised can us Brits make Halloween? Do we even have real pumpkin patches here? Anyhow, farmers’ fields everywhere have suddenly started spouting* pumpkins so go down and get yourself an Insta worthy snap of you cradling a Pumpkin like it’s your first born. *strategically placing pumpkins from the nearest Asda in aforementioned fields before selling them on for triple the price.
- Mind a young family member – Halloween is a lot more fun for kids than adults really anyway. Half hour sugar rush over a three-day hangover any day of the week.
- Go somewhere new. If you didn’t manage to get tickets for Farmageddon, North Wales is offering something similar and potentially scarier (and let’s face it, there’s nowhere scarier than North Wales). An abandoned ship in Llanerch-y-Mor near Mostyn in Flintshire has been closed for 30 years but has been reopened for a unique zombie experience. Prepare to be chased (by actors) whilst you try and find a cure for the zombie virus – this one is DEFFO not for the fainthearted. And if you really want to get away from it all then you can always hop on a plane and go for a city break somewhere super spooky – how about Turin, the so-called Devils city? It’s interesting stuff – you can find gates to hell in different places all over the world, usually in areas of weird geological activity. Who knew you could just pop in on Satan for a cuppa?
- Go the cinema. Aptly named “Halloween” is showing in cinemas now and that’s bound to get you in the spooky mood. Alternatively, you can go the Woodside Drive-In Cinema in Birkenhead (no, that’s not the scary part). They’re showing a mix of Halloween themed films from It, to Insidious to Hocus Pocus so there’s something for everyone to enjoy this Halloween.
- Stay in and get spooky. Fuck the diet off and have a horror film night in with tonnes of sweets. It’s the perfect excuse to get all snug and eat your body weight in shit your PT would hate you for. And if you hate horror films, lash Love Actually on – it’s basically Christmas anyway.
And listen, if you’re bummed you’re not out this Halloween just think of how great you’ll feel on Sunday morning when you’re fresh as a daisy and everyone else is waking up like the British version of American Horror Story – smudged smokey eye, backcombed hair incapable of being restrained, projectile vomit only minutes away and potentially next to an unidentified body. Be smug hun, you’re the real winner here.