Curvy is the new ‘Fat’


I had the misfortune the other day of hearing Mika. Remember him? That over grown boy-child from 2007 who we all thought we were well rid of until all of a sudden he’s supporting Kylie at Hyde park. Clearly someone, somewhere, was clutching at straws tossing this maniac back into the public sphere and making everyone in Hyde Park feel like they were trapped in an hour-long episode of C-beebies.

Then “Big girls you are beautiful” dropped, and I nearly lost it. What is with all these MEN pointing out women’s supposed “insecurities” in pop songs then trying to validate them by telling them they’re actually alright and even “cute”? Did “big” girls not think they were beautiful until Mika pointed it out?

What the fuck do you know about fat girls Mika? And that’s what you mean isn’t it? Fat? Only we’re all meant to say big or curvy now aren’t we? Fat is a negative word, and big/curvy is a positive word – but the meaning behind it is still exactly the same.

Mika then goes on to get the big girls in his video to dance around showing confidence in their bodies by putting them all in corsets- clothing designed to restrict the female form and make women look slimmer! Make your mind up Mika! He also mentions that a ‘real’ woman (yawn, all women are real) will be at the butterfly lounge waiting for ‘real’ men to come and pick them up. (After Googling, I found out that the Butterfly Lounge is a “size acceptance night club” in the US, where larger women dance provocatively for smaller men.) I’ve written this down as a place to avoid if that’s where Mika’s going to be next Saturday night.

If you wanted to talk about ‘real’ life issues then why not write a song about my extra wide fitting feet Mika? Why can’t you sing about how I’m still beautiful even though my curvy affliction means that I can’t even fit into Evans or New Look wide, as they’re simply, NOT WIDE ENOUGH? Why don’t you write about that Mika? WHY DON’T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR NEXT POP SONG??

It’s exactly the same as that One Direction song, (which pains me to say it as yes, it is an awesome tune) but can we just take a second and look at the line, “you don’t know you’re beautiful, and that’s what makes you beautiful.” SORRY WHAT? So what you’re saying is that what’s attractive about this girl is her insecurity and lack of confidence in herself? In order to get boys to fancy me I need to hate myself, not look them in the eye and think I’m fat and order diet cokes in an attempt to keep my weight down?

“You’re insecure? Don’t know what for?” Erm maybe because you told me I had to be insecure? Maybe because since birth I’ve grown up trying to be made to feel guilty for doing whatever the fuck a man does without a second thought e.g. be promiscuous, stand up for myself, put on a bit of weight, get wrinkles, talk about poo, swear, fart etc.

In the same way, the word “skinny’ can be used to make someone feel insecure; like when Meghan Trainor berates skinny girls by calling them “skinny bitches,” along with singing “ I know you think you’re fat But I’m here to tell you… Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.” But maybe they are fat Meghan? And maybe we need to change the way we use and view the word instead of just changing the word. We really need to just get over being so obsessed with female body image! Who gives a fuck? Why are we still dictating a woman’s worth solely on her looks? WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT?

And another thing; I’d like to tell John Legend that it’s Sofas that have curves and edges. Women, like men, have body parts, and just like men, these body parts act to serve a purpose. Therefore they are perfect in their design. Calling them imperfect because they differ in size is a waste of time. Another fave of mine by John is when he sings, “Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too.” Aw thanks John! Normally when I cry I don’t want a man perving on me but glad that in every human emotion I show, I know I’m still being judged on my looks

“Curvy” is just another patronising new language development which on the surface appears to make women feel more confident about their weight, but obviously, because it is a word describing the female body that goes against the standard view of female beauty, it actually just undermines women’s confidence, and makes them feel like shit.

In summary. Mika just needs to fuck off. Look what he started.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here