If you’ve been following my blog for a while then you’ll know I’m no stranger to writing about Slimming World. A quick search will bring up all sorts (mostly opinion pieces and funny listicles rather than recipes though so if you’ve come for that then.. er… soz) – the latest being one that I’d written a few months ago about why I was hitting pause on Slimming World. It basically boiled down to the fact that I was relatively happy with how I looked at the time and I also had a lot on! A house move, a shop move, a salon opening, being a mum – these things all take up time and then there isn’t much left for sitting round chatting with Sandra and the crew about how scandalous it is that low fat super noodles now have a syn value.
Lately however, I haven’t been feeling so great about my body. I’ve been knackered. No time for the gym, no motivation to cook and you can just guess where that’s led me. My clothes are uncomfortable, I am uncomfortable in photos and videos (and when that’s part of my job, it becomes a problem) – I had to go on an emergency trip to the Asda the other day to buy a bigger bra because it felt like Kaa from The Jungle Book was trying to suffocate me and snap my ribs. No, enough is enough – it’s just time I rejoined Slimming World isn’t it? I need someone called Linda, Sue or Debbie to reign me the fuck in. FYI you’re not allowed to become a consultant unless your name is Linda, Sue or Debbie and I swear down it’s true, I’ve had all three.
I’m gonna sidetrack you now with a little bit about my house move. I decided in January that one of my goals for this year was to move house. My house had an offer accepted on it within a couple of weeks and we found this amazing house in Waterloo that we loved. The valuation survey came back fine but, a word of caution to anyone buying a house, especially a period one, ALWAYS get a structural survey done. I did and the results were catastrophic – it needed around £50,000 spending on it to get it to a basic standard and that just isn’t something I’ve got lying down the sides of the couch – so we had to pull out and look elsewhere. I was heartbroken.
The problem is, our house had sold so we risked losing the sale if we stayed put so we had to make the decision to move out and find somewhere temporary to live. At the moment I’m staying in City Quay, just outside of town. It’s a proper gorgeous little apartment complex with a big disused dock in the centre filled with fountains and fish. I really couldn’t have picked anywhere nicer to call home for a few months – oh and if you want to follow my house adventure then I have an Instagram account for all the future renovations and house porn @scousebirdshouse
I honestly might have to sack Crosby off and buy this apartment in city quay purely for the fit instagram pics 😍 Just having a super Scouse @the_three_graces_liverpool rose 🌹 gin and waiting for Love Island. What are you all up to? PS you can order this gin online from @scousebirdshop or from the actual shop in Aintree
We have found another house in Crosby Village and again, it needs quite a bit of work doing to it (period house probs init) but not on the same scale as the first. The fact we have somewhere to rent for a few months means we can complete ASAP and get some of the boring work (asbestos removal, damp proofing etc) done on the new house before we move in.
So anyway, the reason I digressed was 1. to explain why I’ve gained so much weight through stress and lack of time and 2. to explain why I ONLY BLOODY CYCLED to the Slimming World class. I got a copper bike for my birthday and I have a bell and a bike lock and I’ve actually now ridden it to a destination instead of round the park and back so now I’m officially a bike wanker. I started my body magic award before I even weighed in! Smug AF.
The difference I might struggle with this time round is that I’ve gone vegetarian but I’ve also cut out like 90% of my dairy. I have almond, soy or coconut milk, I have dairy free butter, I don’t eat eggs wherever possible (but if someone offers me a cake and it’s been made with egg ama gonna eat that cake!) and nearly every Slimming World recipe involves 2 eggs lightly beaten. The only thing I absolutely cannot cut out is cheese, the vegan cheese tastes like pure mouldy bird shit. I have cut down though, so I’m just gonna have a tiny bit of cow puss in my diet ok – can I live?
Oh and for anyone who’s interested – I’ve put on 17lbs! Horrrrrahhhh what a year!
To order yourself a Scouse Bird food diary which I 100% put my Slimming World success down to then have a look on my shop