The dating game has changed. Gone are the days when it was the done thing to go to a bar, meet a gang of lads, neck one of them and swap numbers. People are pickier than ever thanks to the ‘People you may know’ Facebook feature, Tinder, POF and match.com and the other million and one dating sites out there. It’s become apparent that whilst yes, you can still try and adopt an old fashioned approach, people are much more insular, anti-social and flakey these day. During a ‘single summer’ I endured many dates and what seemed like hundreds of inane messages and I came across a new species; The Tinder Timewaster.
It’s tricky filtering out such a cheeky time thief and it takes months of experience before you can you spot them a mile off. Since you can’t very well update your Tinder bio to “no timewasters please” without looking like you’re selling a puppy or coming across as an absolute crank I thought I’d share these rules so we can all avoid the devil dick.
Tinder Timewaster: 8 ways to tell if you’ve got one on your hands
- They get your number and Never Ever message. They are just there, like dusty books on a shelf, clogging up your precious phone book. You end up making nicknames so you can remember who is who. This behaviour is Bizarre. IF a week has passed and he’s been incommunicado – delete him. No one wants to be the mute guy’s booty call.
- He does message you, but the messages are either, “Hey! How are you?”, “Hey! Where are you from?”, Or the absolute worst, “What you up to?” (Usually abbreviated to WUU2). Shoot me now this guy is a moron. The lack of time and effort that’s gone into these messages indicates the boy may be a Tinder Timewaster or perhaps, and we’re giving serious benefit of the doubt here, he may just be rubbish at initiating convo’s with someone when they don’t have much common ground. In this instance I would offer this advice, if, after a few days the boy’s messages are dull as dishwater, he will be too. Don’t date the dishwater guy.
- If he sends you a friend request on Facebook confirm it after the date, he hasn’t met you properly yet, he has absolutely no stalker rights whatsoever! Plus, do you really want him to see the tagged 2016 Christmas night out picture that slipped through the net?
- If it’s been longer than 10 days and the messages are in full flow but no sign of a date then you may have a Tinder Timewaster on your hands. Try to initiate a date (this is 2018 after all) or drop a hint this conversation would be better face to face. If they don’t bite then unmatch and delete. I know the inner romantic is shaking her head frantically, I get it, they have “potential” and they’re witty to boot! You don’t want to cut them off at the jugular – but its better wasting a few days then a few months. There’s something holding them back from dating you, and do you really want to stick around to find out what it is? You could be missing out on someone equally as good who actually wants to meet you!
- Sometimes you meet a guy and have an amazing date and then hear nothing afterwards. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth. In this instance you must delete and block, no one needs bad blows of confidence like that. Contrary to popular belief Men aren’t as tricky as we like to believe and if someone wants you, and likes you, you’ll know about it.
- As soon as he drops the “I just really don’t want a girlfriend line” you must avoid this lad like the plague. Are you seriously believing this man wants a solitary life? Is he a shark? No, but does he want to shark as many girls as possible? Probably. He says he doesn’t;t want to date you but if you were his ‘Megan Fox’ he’d be all up in the relationship zone.
- Unless you have exactly the same (genuine) feelings, do not allow yourself to be a friend with benefits. No, you can’t win him over by sleeping with him. It’s much more fun being the “one who got away” than the “one who got binned off when something he actually wanted came along”. Swear down.
- You’ve been on dates, you message every day, and you get on boss and on the latest night out it dawned on you that you aren’t actively looking at any other lad, but he hasn’t mentioned the all-important R word. How long do you leave it without looking too keen? If you’re stalking his facebook/ Instagram/ twitter account looking for other girl’s comments and likes then that’s when. If he like you, he’ll girlfriend you up and he won’t have anyone else sniffing round keeping you on edge.
To summarise – don’t waste your precious time when it’s not reciprocated. Sex chat lines are a multimillion pound business and some of us girls are out there doing it for free. You’re not a charity! Dating is fun yet exhausting – no boy is worth losing your self-respect. xxxx