Scouse Bird Problems – Ode to a gobshite

Posted On: 02/10/2014

By: Scouse Bird

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Thursday 2nd October 2014 is National Poetry Day – it’d be rude not to get involved…

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?

Sitting off in your grey trackies and scratching away?

I’ve been in the kitchen cooking the roast for 3 fucking hours

While you lie on the couch shouting about Stevie G’s powers

Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for loving my man

But you can’t even be arsed to help me do my tan

Dya want me to look all pale like a wool?

I can’t even upgrade you cos a Casper can’t pull

I just want you to tell me how fit I look in this dress

But still think I’m fit the next day when I’m basically a mess

I just need to get away from you for a girly night

You’re doin me head in, you’re bein a gobshite

I love ya and that don’t get offended now ay,

I’ll get it all off my chest after a glass of rosé

For a start I caught you on pornhub havin a tommy tank

Then I text you 10 times and what did I get? Blank

You liked a Facebook picture and that Stacey’s a slag

We’ll call it quits if you go to Cricket though and buy me that bag.

Come to think of it I’m sick of putting up with your shit

No matter what I do you’ll always be a tit

Everyday I think “Is he messin?” so I’m giving you the can

Cos I’m an independent Scouse Bird who don’t need no man.

XOXO

Scouse Bird

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