Posted On: 18/02/2016
By: Sassy Bird
We all, well most of us, wouldn’t say no to a fuller pout. Big lips are so hot right now. But how can you make sure yours are more… well endowed?
Ok so once you’ve already been born there’s not a lot you can do about this one but ideally, being born to parents who are blessed in the lips department is your easiest way to fuller lips – so pick the right vagina would be our top tip.
Back Street Fillers
Yeh sure your Auntie Karen knows a girl called Kelly in her mates hairdressers who does lip fillers for £15 and a bottle of rosé but be arsed looking like a baboons arsehole just for the sake of saving a few quid. If you’re serious about lip fillers to improve the look of your face then for the love of god girl, don’t take chances. You wouldn’t buy St John’s shoes so don’t buy a St Johns face.
Shot Glass Challenge/Lip Apples
Remember when Kylie Jenner went from Amy Schumer to Angelina Jolie lips overnight and tried to blag everyone’s head that she’d been sucking on a shot glass? Cue vines and viral pictures the world over of girl’s horrific attempts at completing the (very temporary solution) shot glass challenge with varying success. Anything that’s messing around with growing or changing your tissue I really don’t trust – obviously there’s not been anything medically checked into on this but cancer is an abnormal growth of tissue and god forbid setting that shit off just for a bigger pout. Kylie had injectable filler at a reputable clinic and don’t ever think anything otherwise – she’s admitted this much.
Even if you’ve got mad make up skills, if you go for anything more than a subtle increase in lip size using make up alone then you’re going to look ridiculous. Find the right lipstick shade and line your lips just outside of your lip line and you can increase the look of your mother pucker ever so slightly but don’t just go drawing lips on anywhere you please because, NEWSFLASH, we can still see where your real lips are!
I can’t guarantee this, but a lot of women report a swelling of the lips during pregnancy. I’ve been asked by loads of people if I’ve had my lips done for example. Unfortunately with the swelling of the lips comes a swelling of fucking everything else, backache, sickness, exhaustion, labour and of course a baby. This option is not for the faint hearted.
P.S. I’ll get back to you on whether or not they go back to normal after birth.
Plumping lip gloss
There are a number of lip-glosses on the market which claim to pump your lips up by increases blood flow to the area. The feeling of using them is kind of like rubbing a scotch bonnet chilli round your mouth… it can sting a bit. Effects will generally last no more than a couple of hours. For an added bonus, you can apply some before giving your fella a smooch if he’s been especially pissing you off. You’re welcome. Funniest thing ever.
If you’re looking for a more permanent solution to small lips and don’t want to go down the route of ‘loving yourself for who you are’ or going to counseling for ‘body acceptance’ (all viable routes) then your best and safest bet is to visit a reputable clinic with impeccable results and safety standards. You’ll pay a little bit more than going to see Kelly in your Auntie Karen’s mate’s hairdressers but really you can’t put a price on piece of mind and the perfect pucker. Nu Cosmetic Clinic on Rodney Street in Liverpool has branches all over the country and has been in the cosmetic procedures business for over 25 years – they can sort you out with anything from Botox to boob jobs. They’re the real deal. Check out their website here for special offers.
Found this testimonial on their website from the fab Rebecca too.
Go forth and get your pout on girls (and guys)!