The rest of the country can feel free to scoff at this but like it or not we’re always ahead of the trends whether it’s brows, bumbags or festival hair flowers. Take the Scouse brow for example, we’ve been rocking this for years before Vogue tried to come along and dub it ‘the power brow’. Sit down Anna Wintour and STFU, you missed the boat, deal with it.
The world is obsessed with eyebrows right now and rightly so – they’re everything! Who do you think became obsessed with them first? Us. I know you non-Scousers out there are thinking “Eeee Scouse brows are horrible, they’re like slugs” – NO THOSE SLUG BROWS ARE NOT SCOUSE BROWS, THEY’RE WOOL BROWS. I.E. A very poor imitation of everything a Scouse brow should be; perfect.
While the rest of you had a ball the last couple of years fawning over the kitten heel coming back into fashion, we have steadfastly rejected them. Let’s see who’s looking back in the next couple of years going “What was I thinking? Vom!” Us in our sky high stiletto heels or you in your nipple heels? Meow.
The higher the hair, the closer to heaven. Add 6 inch heels into the mix and we’re basically angels. Although on the cobbles we’re more like fallen angels #SquadGoals
Why do I do my hair, make up, lashes and false tan? Well Kate Moss is the queen of the scruffy look and she ended up with that sweaty, grotty mess Pete Doherty. No tar.
Whether it’s badly drawn brows, wearing head to toe logos or even just using the latest trends in language, we’re just not into it. You can keep your LOL, totes amazeballs, bae & bored.com; we’ll stick to boss, fab & gorge ta.
Have you tried a bar crawl round the Albert Dock in heels? It’s our very own Krypton Factor.
What looks good when paired with any colour clothes? A tan.
We’re not the ones standing in the corner of the club all minimal make-up and misery guts standing with our other pale and bare-faced mates talking about how it’s soooooo ironic that you’re even out in a club in the first place – ironically of course, you’re way too cool to go to a club for non-ironic reasons. Iron-lols. No. We’re the ones with glitter smoky eyes, bouncy hair and eyeliner for days in the middle of the dancefloor, screaming with laughter and having a ball. Shove your neutral palette, casual clothes and sensible shoes up your derrière.
XOXO
Sassy Bird
