20 Things You Know If You Went Camping in Wales When You Were A Kid

There’s not much more in the world of travel that divides opinion more than camping (apart from maybe skiing – WHY WOULD YOU PAY TO BE DELIBERATELY COLD??). Some people love it and same people hate it – I would argue that the one who hate it are the ones who haven’t tried it and I’m dead sorry about your deprived childhood. Camping in Wales was the absolute best thing about being a kid and I remember the camping trips more than I remember any holiday abroad.

1. You’ve been using peacock feathers and ferns for interior decorating long before Pinterest came along.
2. You could literally lose 8hrs building and playing in a den.
3. You were allowed to play with fire. Kind of. You know how to roast a marshmallow over an open fire.
4. There’s nothing better than sitting round a campfire talking and drinking – same goes for when you’re an adult.
5. You’ve made a tree swing with nothing but a stick and a bit of rope and spent hours on it.
6. You’ve played on the said swing even in the rain and mud and come back caked in it and loved it even more.
7. You literally can’t go within 5 miles of Conwy and not go for a walk round the castle and to see the smallest house in Great Britain.
8. You’ve attempted at some point to memorise the pronunciation and spelling of Llanfairpwyllgwynngylgogeryclantisiliogogogh. I failed, because it’s actually Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch.
9. You’ve muddled your way through pronouncing Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch but never forget to shout the GO GO GOCH bit with panache and flair.
10. You’ve been up Moel Famau at least once. FUN FACT: We went up Moel Famau when we were kids, hid a comb in one of the bricks in the castle thing at the top and never ever ended up going back to try and find it.
11. You love castles. Full stop.
12. A cone of chips and an ice cream is a delicacy.
13. You still buy those plastic kites even though they always end up breaking after one go. Right I’m gonna vent here because I still have deep seated issues about kites and I’ve still never let the pain of this go: One time we all went camping in Wales (there was group of about 4 or 5 families who used to go together – they were truly the halcyon days), we went out for the day and all the kids got a kite. Mine was a butterfly. When we got back to the campsite, my dad’s mate who shall remain nameless somehow had a go of my kite either just after I’d had it set up or even before I’d had a go, I can’t remember and HE BROKE IT. All the other kids had a kite and my lovely butterfly kite was in bits. I was actually sobbing. The poor fella felt so bad that he went out and bought me another kite. Did he get me a butterfly? NO IT WAS A FUCKING EAGLE. A big eagle boy kite. I think I was even more devastated and carried on crying but then my mum and dad got pissed off because like he’s bought me a new kite so I should have been grateful. I mean I see their point, but a rainbow butterfly for an eagle? Helllloooo??? I am still cut up about it to this day.
14. Your basic camping set up used to get a bit better every time you went (my parents must have been as horny about camping shops as I am) as your mum and dad accrued more and more equipment. Then they upgraded to a tourer. They always upgrade to a tourer. She-wee or no she-wee, there’s nothing like having your own private toilet.
15. You would voluntarily go on walks. Voluntarily though. Walks were fun – climbing down rocks, jumping over streams, climbing over fences, seeing loads of sheep.
16. Same goes about ghost walks in the night.
17. You could disappear for hours on end and your parents literally weren’t arsed.
18. You’re an expert at scavenger hunts, easter egg hunts and rounders.
19. It always used to seem like it took about 8 hours getting there in the car but it literally takes 90 minutes.
20. There was nothing more jump-up-and-down-wee-your-pants exciting than getting home from school on a Friday and your dad saying, “Get in the car, we’re going camping in wales”. Bliss. Feel sorry for these Southern Tories called Tarquin, Jocelyn, Biscotti the Third and Garibaldi who’ve only ever been to the South of France. You’re missing out huns.