Driving – it can bring out the worst in us. As soon as we’re behind the wheel not only do we turn into rageaholics but the protective bubble of our beloved cars mean we can do and say things we’d never dare to in real life. Road ragers are much more vicious than a keyboard warrior.
Things you say when you’re driving
- Oh my goooooddd PICK A LANE.
- Are you messing? MOVE!
- It’s a 30mph speed cam not a 27! Hurry up!
- Cheers for letting me know you were turning right. Prick. (When they’ve clearly forgot that indicators exist)
- They’re on green GO GO GO
- What the fuck is this dickhead doing?
- Who’s this arrogant prick parked there – oh what a surprise, a taxi.
- Who the fuck does he think he is just pulling out like that – oh what a surprise, a taxi.
- Oh I’m so sorry I’m not illegal enough for you sir (When I’m doing 36 in a 30 and someone over takes me)
- Oh, got a Rangey have ya? Dickhead. (When I’m doing 36 in a 30 and someone over takes me at about 60mph)
- They give you free bus passes for a reason! Put your foot down nan.
- You can literally get a bus through there, what the hell are you doing?
- How do you not know how a roundabout works? You can go!!!
- “You’re welcome dickhead” (When you’ve let them out/in front of you and they don’t say thanks).
- “Helllllooooo pay attention, I’m letting you go! Right fuck you then” (When someone is in so much of a world of their own they can’t even appreciate what a decent, upstanding member of the driving community you are).
- Are your indicators broke hun?
- Ahhhh fucked that up haven’t ya? (When you’re watching someone try to park).
- If you’d just moved forward a foot, selfish prick. (When you spot an amazing parking space that someone has ruined with their spaced-out-ness)
- Let me over arsehole.
- Stay on green, stay on green, stay on green, ahhhh fucks sake.
- Eeeeeee what the fuck at you looking at? (Because when I’m behind the wheel, I’m dead hard).
And if you enjoyed this, here’s 12 things you realise when you become a driver and of course, if you related to faaaaarrrrr too many of these then you might wanna try one of these relaxing scents….