Scouse Bird Problems – EEEEEEEE

Posted On: 22/07/2014

By: Scouse Bird

Nearly every gobshite has a redeeming quality and the iphone is one hell of a gobshite. Sure its battery lasts precisely 23 minutes, yes you have to buy a new charger cable every month and yes you absolutely have to delete half your apps whenever you want to take a picture but I wouldn’t have any other phone. I got an android one once as a secondary business phone and it’s sat in a draw since the day after I got it, it was either that or lash it at a wall in android induced rage. Team iphone fo’ lyf.

Then there are some gobshites who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, like EE. I got talked (I say talked, moaned at incessantly) into going on EE by some tit of an ex fella and I regretted it immediately. Cut to 24 months later and while the ex is long gone I was still being plagued by a network which falls off on average 5 times a day and mocked me with ‘No service’ while my mates on O2 had 5 bars and 3g. Why god why? It was time to go crawling back to O2 and plead forgiveness. I’d served my time with EE.

An O2 shop manager saw my tweets bitchin about EE and lamenting the loss of O2 in my life and insisted they’d welcome me back with open arms. I went into the shop in Kirkby (I know, I know it’s Kirkby but I had to show them I was truly sorry for leaving them in the 1st place) and the service was boss from start to finish. This was in sharp contrast to the time when EE just decided to turn my 3g off for no apparent reason for a few days and no one right up to 3rd line support could figure out why – the staff in the shop couldn’t have been more rude and indifferent (and I’ve worked in that industry). The O2 staff were friendly, knowledgeable and we had a good laugh.

I pitched my Scouse Bird Problems to them:

1. Immediate battery death – they sorted me a mobile power unit which means I can charge my phone anywhere now.

2. Broken charger cables – I’m still cursing Apple on this one. It’s definitely a conspiracy the robbin bastards. [I’m half expecting to be abducted by the Apple Illuminati in the middle of the night now…so if I drop off the face of the earth, you know why]

3. No storage – I now have a 64gb GOLD iphone instead of a 16gb pathetic excuse for one.

4. Dropped network – In the month or so I’ve had it, it hasn’t fell off the network once unlike EE who downed a bottle of vodka every morning.

5. No service – the worse case of this I came across was in the Newz Bar so when it reopens after its refurb I’ll let you know but so far network has been boss.

In summary, if you’re happy with something, don’t change it ESPECIALLY if an idiot begs you to. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

PS Oh and obviously while I was there we managed to hash out an offer for all my fellow Scouse Birds in the North West. If you visit the O2 stores in Kirkby, Maghull, Preston, Ashton Under Lyme, The Fort (Manchester) or Rochdale and get a new contract on O2 Refresh (the one where you can upgrade your phone whenever you want) then they’ll pay your first months line rental for you when you quote “Scouse Bird’. Can’t say fairer than that. O2 are dead sound.


Scouse Bird


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