It’s always Mojito o’clock somewhere | Scouse Bird Problems

March 30, 2014

Pornstar punch

This Friday I got invited to Igloo to road test their brand new cocktail menu. The manager threw down the gauntlet; “I hope you’ve brought your drinking boots.” Bitch please, I’m bringing the SBI, I hope you’ve put in an extra large vodka order.

The pièce de résistance of their new offering was something called ‘The Millionaire Mojito’ which sounded an awful lot like the Royal Fuck mojitos we had in Paris which got me and my mate royally fucked so naturally I was looking forward to that. It’s got an entire bottle of Bacardi in it and a whole bottle of champagne – it’s a challenge within itself.

Cookie Monster

Dead Mans Chest

But first we had to work our way through ‘crack babies’ (FIT), ‘FAB’s’ (FAB), ‘Pornstar punch’ (my fave), ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ (bit weird tasting but came with a load of choclate coins which was boss) and we were supposed to try ‘Mad Hatter’ & ‘Zombie’ but we didn’t make it to them cos they kept making us other mad shots and sambuca fountains which they set on fire and we reeeeally wanted to try the mojito….

It didn’t disappoint, it was the biggest cocktail I’ve ever seen, bigger even than Kanye West’s ego and it weighed aba 3 ton – FIT!