I won’t lie my life is quite dull; being on maternity leave means my social life has taken a bit of a nosedive. It can be a bit lonely being off when all of your mates are in work (Given that there are only so many conversations you can have about My Little Pony and Barbie.), I’ve found myself reading a lot of celeb magazines and I’ve been using it to search for a new best mate.
Here are the 7 celebs who would make the best ‘best mates’
This is a given, who wouldn’t want Beyoncé as a best mate? Whenever something goes wrong in your life, Beyoncé has a song for that exact situation. It’s like she just knows the answer to everything because it seems like she’s been there. Her empathy game way strong. Beyoncé is the Queen of all women, advocating power, equality and not taking any shit EVER. She’s fierce, beautiful and could teach you the best dance moves and…well really there doesn’t need to be any other explanation as to why she is the ultimate celeb best made. She just is.
She’s famous for her serial dating and seems to have gone out with nearly every famous hotty ever – can you imagine the gossip after a few Proseccos? During this drinking session (I imagine) she would not only spill loads of dirt about her exes but she’d also be able to teach you guitar and together you could write amazing songs slaughtering your ex, and because Taylor helped you it would sell 3 zillion copies and everyone would know what a tit he is. Boss.
Ok, I’m going out on a whim here because having Li-Lo as a friend would be a complete liability but you’re guaranteed some fun times. Obviously you wouldn’t want to get arrested with her, but you would want to laugh at the mascara smeared mug shot and see the hilarious Snap Chats from the night before. Her chaos would have the added bonus of making you seem like you actually have your life together. If she was your mate you would have to take the rough with the smooth – you’d probably get kicked out of loads of clubs and end up wearing a tag but at least you’d have someone to quote Mean Girls with.
She’s your any occasion, all weather friend (although if the weather was permenantly Bajan we wouldn’t complain). Like Beyoncé with her songs, Rihanna has a face for whatever the situation and she’s able to convey whatever you’re both feeling without ever even saying a word. Plus if you were ever wanting to try out a new hairstyle, just get her to try it first and see what it looks like.
She’s the mate you go to when you want to talk a bit of filth. Whether it’s advice on anacondas, keeping nunnies sweet for the eating, or how to perfect lapdancing for your fella, Nicki’s got your back. She’s deffo the one sending dick pics in the group chat. Despite sexualising everything, she’s no female misogynist – if any man treats you or her like a slag or a second rate citizen for being a woman, she’ll call them out and string them up by the bollocks within 3 seconds flat. Go Nicki.
Kim’s too high maintenance and attention seeking, Kendall’s too busy with her career, Kourtney is far too miserable and let’s be honest, you wouldn’t even recognise Kylie on a day to day basis. Khloe is the funnest and most caring Kardashian and she might even let you in on the family secret of significantly being able to change your looks without a single smidge of surgery 👀. That’s a serious friendship fringe benefit. In return you could help guide her away from all the gobshites – win-win.
Hello? Think of all the tips on eyebrows you could glean AND your camera roll would be full of ugly selfies. Everyone knows that friendships are built on ugly selfies. Fact.
Now does anyone have their numbers so we can get started on our boss friendships? Ta.