Scouse Bird Problems – Malta: Gozo

Posted On: 25/09/2014

By: Scouse Bird

Malta is actually a collection of 7 islands (with actual Malta being the biggest of course). Gozo is its little sister and as soon as I mentioned on Instagram that I was going over to Malta I was told I absolutely must visit Gozo. You can get the ferry over to Gozo including your car for €15.70 return which is boss, it takes about half an hour. 

We organised to go on a kayak tour around the island though Gozo Adventures which was an amazing way to see the island and start working off all that holiday food in advance (didn’t work, I still nearly cried getting on the scales when I got back home). Maybe I shouldn’t have let my fella do all the work while I sat back and relaxed, it should be against the law for prinnies to put on weight anyway – when I get in power I’m outlawing calories. The tour lasted about 4 or 5 hours but it felt like it flew by.

Highlights of the tour included seeing the infamous “Calypso’s cave” – according to Homer’s Odyssey, Calypso was a goddess who captured Odysseus and held him prisoner as a sex slave in that very cave for 7 years before he managed to escape back to his wife. Well love, a relationship is like a fart, if you have to force it then it’s probably shit. Calypso should’ve held out for someone who really appreciated her nymphomania but instead she died of a broken heart.

Gozo also has its very own replica of Christ the Redeemer which you may have seen in such countires as Brazil….mainly just Brazil actually. Unfortunately Jesus was having a makeover when we visited.

We stopped off at a beach for lunch where Gozo Adventures provided us with lunch as part of the package. We were then given an hour free time which we used to go snorkelling and play with the waterproof camera case.

After the tour, our guide Mark (a Geordie) was able to recommend tons of other places to visit while we were over on Gozo. The Azure window at Dwerja and The Citadel in Victoria are a must see.

the azure window

more swimming with the camera fun in the ‘inland sea’ at dwerja

view from the citadel

Apparently Brad and Angelina were filming there at the same time we were there but unfortunately we failed to spot them. Pfft, Team Aniston anyway.

To book a kayak tour of Gozo visit the Gozo Adventures website.

See the rest of Malta here:

Malta overview

Where to stay

Mdina: The silent city

The Blue Grotto

The Blue Lagoon at Comino



St Julians, Spinola & Paceville


Scouse Bird


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