Scouse Bird Problems – 81ltd

Posted On: 17/12/2013

By: Scouse Bird

I’m the type of person who hates to feel like they’re missing out or that they don’t know something. I have a natural curiosity where I need to know things: secrets, gossip, how something works, anything really. When I heard there was a secret bar in town that you needed directions to, a code to get into and you had to know someone who knows someone who knows the manager to get the code to it, I HAD to go.So I found someone who knew someone who knew someone who knew the manager (Drink in Liverpool basically) and off I went for some sophisticated cocktails with my friend. I made sure to text the manager G to say she was only allowed to admit tall, handsome fellas in as well. Every diva has a rider.

There’s basically a secret passageway in Salt Dog Slims which leads to secret inconspicuous unmarked door with a code lock on it. Behind that is 81ltd. It’s only very small inside with a maximum capacity of just over 60 people (hence why it remains so exclusive).

We had the best seats in the house reserved (a velvet bench at the end of the bar where you can people watch everyone).We tried the Siberian Truth Serum cocktail which tasted like watermelon and was deliciously refreshing, another one to do with monkeys (the truth serum was strong) and we got the barman to make his own signature cocktail which I dubbed ‘The Stuart Special’. It came in a big bamboo tankard with all fantastic fruit coming out of it and it definitely had Bollinger in it…that’s all I know, but it was amazing.Elissa (Corrigan of Scousewives and journalistic fame) was there for her flatmates birthday. Flatmate sees me and goes “You don’t half look like my flatmate Elissa.” “Yep I get that a lot.” (Sidenote: flatmate is tall and handsome. Well done G for doing your duty). Elissa is a stone cold stunner and the fact I get compared to her all the time is A-ok with me… even if she is a wool.

I got a text off Old Scouse Bird saying she was downstairs so I got up to go and get her. I say got up, as soon as I stood up I fell off my feet and hit the deck falling neatly in between the bar and the bench, nearly knocking myself out on the bar on the way down. I was telling me mate about it the next day and she said “Did anyone see you?” honestly, it happened that fast that it was more of a case of now you see me, now you don’t. Standing to lying on the floor in less than a second easily. Oh my god those Stuart specials are strong!

Anyway after that we had an amazing night. The cocktails were delicious, the staff were friendly, the music was actually really unusual (some proper golden oldie stuff).

I can definitely recommend it for a night out….if you can find it that is 😉

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