Scouse Bird Problems – Tried & Tested: Cheating the fat off

Posted On: 18/01/2016

By: Zoe Delaney

“Losing weight is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire and you’re on fire and everything is on fire and you’re in hell.”

If only exercising was as easy as eating an entire loaf of bread in one sitting and then moaning that you’re fat, eh? Yes, while some people may find it simple to shift a few pounds (wizards, surely?), most of us will find it hard to beat the bulge; especially if you’ve hit your mid twenties where your metabolism basically says “Traaa!” and gets off. 

I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, I’ve thought I was fat and now regret not taking more pictures as I was actually slim, and I’ve also been ‘not actually fat, just wearing disgusting clothes’. I’m now old enough and wise enough to know that Juice Plus style programmes are just pyramid schemes for the millennial generation, Aktins makes your breath stink, and it’s probably safer to have a line of coke than it is to play Russian Roulette with dodgy diet pills. Unfortunately, the only thing that gets them jeans zipping up again is healthy eating and exercise. 

But there’s only so much eating clean and training dirty can achieve. As you get older, you discover new stubborn areas every day that no matter how much you smash the gym, just won’t go away. For me, it’s my thighs. Thick thighs may very well save lives, but they also cause the dreaded chubby rub. Even at my skinniest, my thighs rub together more than two teenagers dry humping. The summer months see me keeping talc companies in business and it’s even been so bad that the devil’s rub has caused my legs to bleed. My thighs are without doubt, my problem area. I’ll take all the help I can get. I’ve even cling filmed the bastards, a la Jade Goody in Big Brother 3, just to try get a few millimetres off them. 

So when I got wind of the latest celebrity trend, fat freezing Crystal Ice Lipo, I headed down to Rodney Street to see what miracles could be worked on my poor chapped thighs. 


Crystal Ice Lipo is the latest celebrity craze; freezing the fat off your chosen area in one session and promising no pain, no downtime and clinically proven to get permanent results. Perfect for targeting stubborn areas like muffin tops and little bellies; the procedure also known as Cyrolipolosis uses low temperatures to permanently destroy 40% of fat cells and smooth away the appearance of cellulite. 

So how does it all work? Within minutes of walking through the door Christine, the technician performing the lipo put me at ease; talking me through what will happen, how it all works and just how to maximise the best results from the session. 

I sat with my legs spread apart (Thank God I had a wax), the suction cups were applied to thighs and within seconds my chubby rub was treated to a cold sensation; getting to work on literally freezing the fat cells. Personally, I found the whole thing painless – I’m in the camp that enjoys having my eyebrows waxed so maybe I’m a bit of a masochist, but for me, Crystal Ice Lipo certainly lives up to it’s billing as a pain-free procedure. The most uncomfortable part of the whole experience was having to sit still for 40 minutes. 

As with any health and beauty treatment, a lot depends on who your therapist is. Sure, the end result is important but you want to enjoy the experience too. Being sat in a room for the best part of an hour, with your pants off, and suction cups attached to your thighs, you really want to have some decent company and Christine certainly fulfilled that role. Friendly, informative and chatty, while my fat was busy being blasted to oblivion, Christine was on hand to tell me how to make the most of the Lipo (plenty of water and no alcohol for a few days afterwards), gossip, and she even had a green tea ready for me once it was time for cups to come off. 

After a few days of glugging water like it was going out of fashion, I noticed my thighs had begun to feel smoother and slimmer. My jeans fit better, chubby rub was kept at bay and I felt better looking in the mirror when getting dressed in the morning. With results continuing to appear for months after the treatment, I can’t wait to see even more changes that will happen to my former thunder thighs. 

Crystal Ice Lipo is perfect if you’ve got a tricky bit of fat that just won’t budge. While thighs were my problem area, I know plenty of my friends struggle with their lower stomach after a pregnancy, or get annoyed with their muffin top creeping over their jeans after an indulgent Christmas period and a course of Ice Lipo would solve their hang ups. Popping into Christine is the solution to literally blasting away any niggling problems and finally getting the body you want.

To find out more and to book an appointment with Christine at her Rodney Street clinc, visit: or find her on Facebook.




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