Scouse Bird Problems – What emojis really mean

Posted On: 12/07/2015

By: Scouse Bird

Emojis have become an acceptable part of our language – they’re there when words fail us or we just cannot convey what we’re feeling. Emojis have our back.

We use them in a way that everyone can understand what we mean but are we using them in the right way? What does apple say they mean? We asked Siri to read them out.

What emojis really mean


We use it – I am fabulous, I am bitchy, I flick my hair like i just don’t care because i don’t care. I am a queen and you are all peasants

Siri says – Customer service person.


We use it – “I find that funny. I am insinuating that I’m crying with laughter but it reality I have internally raised a smile.” This has replaced lol. Thank god.

Siri says: Face with tears of joy


We use it: I’m blowing you a kiss because I think you’re fab darling

Siri says: Face blowing kisses


We use it: “Saw my ex and I was all like be gone you crusty dicked spawn of satan”

Siri says: Person using arms to make X shape


We use it: Preach! Oh gurrrrlfriend what you said is so true, I feel you!

Siri says: Hands raised in celebration


We use it: Oh god, that’s awkward

Siri says: Grimacing face


We use it: What I’ve just said is slightly suggestive but I’m not being pervy, I’m just messin… unless you’re into it.

Siri says: Winking face


We use it: I have said something bitchy and fabulous. Deal with it.

Siri says: Nail polish being applied to fingers


We use it: I’m sad about that

Siri says: Sad, pensive face


We use it: Ugly kitten heels. Meow.

Siri says: Womens sandals


We use it: Oh my god that is soooo embrassing for me

Siri says: Monkey face that can see no evil


We use it: Me! Count me in!Β 

Siri says: Happy person raising one hand


We use it: Someone has just fucked me over and I am dead inside

Siri says: Smiling face with squinting eyes


We use it: I’m a creepy fella with perverted tendencies who will sexually assault you, skin you and wear you.

Siri says: Winking face with stuck out tongue


We use it: Oh god. I feel ashamed for you.

Siri says: Flushed face


We use it: Oh god that is so funny I can’t even cope I’m crying/I’m devastated that is so sad I’m crying

Siri says: Loudly crying face


We use it: Omg I can’t cope

Siri says: Distraught face


We use it: I’ve just made a condescending sarcastic comment

Siri says: Smirking face


We use it: Oh i can’t believe you just did that. I am not fucking impressed.

Siri says: Neutral face


We use it: I’ve just been sent a dick pic and I’m genuinely disgusted and traumatised

Siri says:Β Confounded face


We use it: This is an accurate artists impression of my ex

Siri says: Smiling pile of poo


We use it: The ugly troll from my fellas work who keeps commenting on my fellas pics

Siri says: Japanese ogre mask


We use it: It’s either praying or high fiving. No one knows.

Siri says: Hands pressed together


We use it: I’m up to no good

Siri says: Smiling face with horns


We use it: Omg that’s just knocked me sick

Siri says: Face with medical mask


We use it: I am fucking fuming!

Siri says: Huffing with anger face


We use it: Oh god. I got some jizz on my chin.

Siri says: Sleepy face


We use it: I am so cool and so chill. I have all the chill.

Siri says: Smiling face with sunglasses


We use it: I can’t believe what I’ve just seen. I am dead.

Siri says: Astonished face


We use it: That is suspicious/creepy

Siri says: New moon with face


We use it: My ex’s small dick

Siri says: Fried shrimp


We use it: Big dick

Siri says: Eggplant


We use it: I am real, I keep it real 100%, I am so real it hurts

Siri says: 100 points symbol


We use it: Jizz

Siri says: Drip

In some cases Siri is spot on in others the emojis have taken on a life of their own! To get siri to read out emojis just go into settings > general > accessibility > speech > turn speak selection on.


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