Posted On: 07/11/2014
By: Scouse Bird
Cancun is world famous for its nightlife and rightly so – you won’t find anywhere else quite like it. Whichever hotel you’re in the entertainment staff tend to take you out and make sure you’re settled in the club and well looked after. You don’t pay by the drink here, you pay anywhere beween $30 and $70 entry (£18 – £43) and then all your drinks are included in that. You get table service including a bottle of spirit and mixer, it’s boss value for money. Here’s what to expect when you’re expecting to party…
Look I’m going to put this on here just to get it out the way because it’s the one everyone talks about. Some people go to Mexico and only go out once and this is where they tend to go and I can see that if this was the only place you went to that you’d think it was “the best place ever” or “the best night of your life” but I’ve been twice and hated it. It’s so unbelievably overrated and way too overcrowded. For safety reasons the maximum capacity is 1000 people but they regularly cram in over 2500 people per night, which is great if you don’t want to be able to get a drink and love being jostled and squeezed all night. Not my bag. If they weren’t so money grabbing and stuck to the capacity, or even somewhere close to the capacity then it’d be so much better. The Las Vegas style entertainment they put on in there is worth a watch like but to me it doesn’t outweigh the hassle of being sandwiched in there. It’s the most expensive place to go to and the other clubs put on shows too you know…
This is the biggest club in Latin America and pulls in all the big names, especially during spring break. As you go in you’ll see pictures on the wall of Deadmau5, Guetta, Lil John, LMFAO and loads more who’ve all performed there. There are 5 floors all built around a central dancefloor – during low season they shut some of the upper levels so the club will always look busy and there’ll always be an amazing atmosphere. They’ll stop the music for shows such as gymnastics, fire dancers, pole dancers and there’s dry ice and balloon releases throughout the night. The party never gets stale. This is my favourite.
This used to have a revolving dancefloor, it’s still there like but they never switch it on anymore. Booo. Everyone loves a Lazy Susan. They have boss light shows and dry ice and depending on what night you go on they could have male pole dancers (omg i swear to god, wow) or a bikini contest where they get members of the audience to come and dance on stage in a bikini and whoever gets the most cheers wins like $2000 or something. It can get quite competitive so expect to see tits and maybe more… SPOILER ALERT: They always have at least one planted stripper in there who will always win. It is a fix like but it’s still loads of fun.
This used to be called Bulldog and have its own ice bar but it was refurbished and changed about a year ago and now looks like an Italian palace. Apart from that it doesn’t really have a unique selling point anymore but it’s still got a boss atmosphere – think of like the best club in Liverpool and you’d have some idea of what level we’re talking about. All the other clubs have boss atmospheres AND gimmicks as well so I feel like I’m selling Palazzo short here – you’d just have to experience it for yourself.
This has an Indian theme to it and is all decked out in red and gold. The front of the club is completely open (but it’s air con, don’t worry) and you dance on platforms built around a dancefloor with a giant ‘Durga’ statue (Indian goddess with many arms) as the focal point. Expect dance competitions, balloon drops and podium dancing all night long
This is next to Mandala and is, as it suggests, a club on the beach. If you’ve ever seen spring break parties on TV then this is where they’re filmed. They have massive parties on a Tuesday night and Saturday daytime (weather permitting). Tie your hair back if you’re going out here, there’s no air con with it being outside. You don’t want to end up like Monica from Friends when she went to Barbados – we all know hair braiding is for wools.
This had changed locations from last time I went. It used to be a bit further away from the other clubs and boasted its own tattoo parlour by the toilets (yes I succumbed, didn’t hurt a bit because tequila) and a water slide into the lagoon (yes I succumbed, water damaged my D&G watch). It’s now moved next to DadyO’s in the building which was formerly Sweet Club and before that Daddy Rocks. It’s still retained some of its fun vibe, they have a UV paint party (wear shit clothes if you want to get involved) and a giant robot who walks round but goddamn I miss the slide and the tattoo parlour.
This is less of a club and more of a bar. The name means “little cow” so if your fella starts calling you that you have permission to spit in his beer. They have comically large cups and a giant cow hanging from the ceiling and at some point in the night the grim reaper will show up and start pouring flaming sambucas down peoples throats.
Enjoy, it’s the best place in the world™
Check out the rest of Cancun:
Which Riu is right for you?
What to do when you’re there
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