Posted On: 03/07/2014
By: Scouse Bird
Scouse Wedding Vows – a modern twist, for the modern couple.
I gobshite, take thee crank, to be my lawful wedded bird. To pull your hair and smack your ass, from this day forward, for fat days and for when you’ve been grafting at legs bums and tums, for when I’ve just been paid, and for the week before payday, in sickness or in health or when you’ve just got a dead bad hangover, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part, even if you’re due on and burning my head out. And hereto I pledge to you my faithfulness and that I will never so much as text another slag or like her picture on Facebook.
I, crank, take thee gobshite, to be my lawful wedded fella. To give blowies to and occasionally stick a finger up your bum (but never tell your mates), from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer (unless it’s the type of poor which means you can’t buy me new shoes), in sickness, in manflu and in health, to love and to cherish, even though sometimes you fart on me head, ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness and promise that I’ll only check your phone if a new bird starts at your work an I don’t like the cut of her jib.